Occasionally there is a kind of worldly advice that sounds like this: “Don’t worry about what others say. You’ve got to do what’s best for you. Just consider yourself.”
I want to take the essence of that idea—“Do what’s best for you”—and press on it with biblical application. There is a sense in which we must consider what is good for us. But apart from biblical instruction and sound reflection, are we reliable enough to discern what is best?
Let the wisdom of Proverbs address us: “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence” (Prov. 15:31–32).
The Bible wants us to consider what is good for us, and we also need the Bible to tell us what that good is. According to Proverbs 15:31–32, here is what’s good: heeding life-giving reproof.
No one typically likes reproof (or correction) when it comes. We might be embarrassed and humbled by it. We might recoil in denial of a blind spot that another person has identified. We might insist that the instruction is overstated and unnecessary. In other words, when we hear life-giving reproof, we might respond wrongly and ignore it.
But ask yourself where you want to dwell. Do you want to live among the wise? Solomon said, “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise” (Prov. 15:31). Reproof isn’t comfortable, but it is life-giving and therefore beneficial. Our pride doesn’t want to acknowledge the benefit of correction. Maybe we’re tempted to posture ourselves like we have it all together and like no one ever needs to instruct us about anything.
Again, ask yourself where you want to dwell. If you want to dwell among the wise, the route that takes you there goes through reproof. There is no alternative road, no scenic route around correction. There is only heeding proof and receiving life, or rejecting reproof and embracing folly. The way to wisdom is through reproof.
So don’t despise yourself. Solomon said, “Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence” (Prov. 15:32). The “instruction” in view is biblical wisdom that teaches one how to live in the fear of the Lord. If we ignore that kind of instruction, we are despising ourselves because we are orienting our lives toward folly and destruction.
Showing care for your soul will mean submitting to wisdom. We must submit to wisdom in order to gain wisdom. We must humbly receive reproof to grow out of our simple-mindedness. We must welcome correction if we hope to mature.
Proper self-care is rooted in the fear of the Lord and delight in his word—even when his word brings correction. We’re caring for the state of our souls when we seek to walk humbly before the Lord in faith and repentance. But rejecting reproof—whether it comes directly from God’s word or through the wisdom of God’s people—is foolish because it is self-hatred.
If you despise instruction, you are despising yourself. Your pride does not have your deepest good in view. The Lord created you to know him and love him, and those purposes are fulfilled in the life that welcomes godly instruction and reproof.
Divine reproof brings life. Isn’t life what you want more of? Receiving reproof leads to living among the wise. Isn’t that where you want to dwell?